Stella Awards

           It's time again for the annual 'Stella Awards'! For those  unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after 81-year-old  Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonald's in New Mexico , where she purchased coffee. You  remember, she took the lid off the coffee and put it between her knees while she was driving. Who would ever think one could get  burned doing that, right? That's right; these are awards for the  most outlandish lawsuits and verdicts in the U.S. You know, the  kinds of cases that make you scratch your head. So keep your head scratcher handy. Here are the Stella's for the past year:

           *SEVENTH PLACE*

           Kathleen Robertson of Austin , Texas was awarded $80,000 by  a jury of her  peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running  inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised by the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son.

           Start scratching!


           * SIXTH PLACE *

           Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles , California won $74,000 plus medical  expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda  Accord. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of  the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

           Scratch some more...


           * FIFTH PLACE *

           Terrence Dickson, of Bristol , Pennsylvania , who was  leaving a house he  had just burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for  Dickson, the  automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage  door to open. Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because the door  connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to sit for eight, count 'em, EIGHT days and survive on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner's insurance  company claiming undue mental Anguish. Amazingly, the jury said the  insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish. We should all  have this kind of anguish. Keep scratching. There are more...

           Double hand scratching after this one..


           *FOURTH PLACE*

           Jerry Williams, of Little Rock, Arkansas , garnered 4th Place in the Stella's when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten on the  butt by his next door neighbor's beagle - even though the beagle was on a chain in  its owner's fenced yard. Williams did not get as much as he  asked for because the jury believed the beagle might have been provoked at the  time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed over the fence into the  yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun.

           Pick a new spot to scratch, you're getting a bald spot..


           * THIRD PLACE *

           Amber Carson of Lancaster , Pennsylvania because a jury ordered a  Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she  slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an  argument. What ever happened to  people being responsible for their own actions?

           Only two more so ease up on the scratching....


           *SECOND PLACE*

           Kara Walton, of Claymont , Delaware sued the owner of a night club in a nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor, knocking out her two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said the night club had to pay her $12,000....oh, yeah, plus dental expenses. Go figure.

           Ok. Here we go!!!!!


           * FIRST PLACE *

           This year's runaway First Place Stella Award winner was:  Mrs. Merv Grazinski, of Oklahoma City , Oklahoma , who purchased  new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, from  an OU football game,  having driven on to the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually  leave the driver's seat while the cruise control was set. The Oklahoma jury awarded her, are you sitting down?
           $1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home. Winnebago actually changed their  manuals as a result of this suit, just in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy a motor home.

           Are we, as a society, getting more stupid.... or are more members of  Congress serving on juries these days?